"All I want for Christmas is a family..."
Charles Dickens wrote, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity.” This quote from A Tale of Two Cities reminds me of Christmas and the children in America’s child welfare system. It is the best of times, or should be because it is Christmas and Christmas is a magical time for children. However, it is the worst of times for these children who are not at home with their families, or worse, they have no family or home to return.
Special days, like Christmas, Thanksgiving, or birthdays, the days that should be set apart for celebration with family are more often a time of pain, disappointment and a sense of guilt for our kids. When we stop to think how much our culture associates special holidays with family activities it is easy to understand why these “holidays” are often “hollow days” for children in the system. Even the Fourth of July celebration is one usually shared by members of the family or families sharing the event together.
We all have that desire to be part of a family, especially during special times of the year. Family relationships are a natural part of life and have been the bedrock of our country, and our civilization from the dawn of time. Families struggle, have good and bad times, remain together and fall apart. Some families are whole while others are piecemeal, blended or in some instances non-existent. Regardless of how strong or fragmented and weak, children desperately want to be part of a family. If they cannot be with their family of origin, they want to be part of someone’s family unit.
The staff and foster families who care for children in the child welfare system suffer with them vicariously as they watch and feel their loneliness and disappointment. What should be the “best of times” simply isn’t because a child’s family is not available for special occasions like Christmas. The “worst of times” can be transformed into the “best of times” through the selfless sharing and sacrifice of caring people. During these times, the caregiver may experience that wonderful, intangible gift of seeing joy return to a child’s life during this special season.
Overall, Christmas is a difficult time for our kids. We do all we can to help them during the holiday season. With the help of friends and partners in our work, each child receives Christmas gifts and an opportunity to celebrate the season. Nevertheless, what they want most we cannot give them. They want to be part of a family. Many of these children can be adopted and more of them need foster families. Let us remember these special children this Christmas season and pray their “worst of times” be replaced soon with a sense of hope and joy – a family.
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