The importance of family meals

Over the past decade, there has been a shift in the way providers care for abused, neglected and at-risk children and youth.  The move has been toward a “least restrictive environment” for children or away from those older, more traditional residential and institutional settings.  For many private providers who served large numbers of kids during the height of the children’s homes era, the shift has been substantial.  Facilities with large campuses that served so many for so long are becoming obsolete.  Some now serve a fraction of the children that once lived for years at the children’s home.

Will residential care go away?  No, there will always be a need to serve some children in residential care.  Some children will always need the close supervision and structure of a residential setting.  The new residential is more treatment in orientation and the length of stay is for months rather than years.

The shift to a “least restrictive environment” has led primarily to foster homes if a child cannot return home.  If possible, with all things being equal, a foster home is better than a residential setting for a variety of reasons.  Home and family are the basic building blocks of society.  So go our homes, so goes our culture.

Many of the challenges we face in America in education, substance abuse, illegitimate births, sexually transmitted diseases and a host of other social issues could be greatly reduced with stronger, intact families.  Children living in homes, even if foster homes, are functioning closer to the original model than children living in institutions.

One dynamic advantage of a healthy, functioning family results from easting together.  Teens that frequently have dinner with their families are at a lower risk for substance abuse.  A study (The National Center of Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, September 2005) found that frequent family dinners were associated with lower rates of teen smoking, drinking and drug use.  Compared with teens who frequently had dinner with their families, (five nights or more per week), those who had dinner with their families only two nights per week or less were twice as likely to be involved in substance abuse.  They were 2.5 times as likely smoke cigarettes, more than 1.5 times as likely to drink alcohol, and nearly three times as likely to try marijuana. 

Family style eating gives the family time to come together not only to eat but to talk and listen.  Finding ones “place” at the table means one belongs.  The very fact that the family meets together around the table at least five times each week means this first institution of life is functioning at some level.  Children need a home. While there really is no place like their home, many times a foster home is a good and safe alternative.

Our family traditions are important.  Even the simple, routine exercise of sitting at the dinner table together as a family has tremendous value.  Enjoy them together.  Happy Thanksgiving.